Shadows and Moonlight-- The Journal of Meier Link
When the sun sets and stains the horizon crimson, those trapped are free to roam in eternal moonlight...| Archives |
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Friday
I walked in the sun.Wednesday
My arrival at the Inne, was the same as always-- albeit a touch more gentle as I did not land in water or outside-- yet, Madame Kudou noticed almost immediately that there was some change in my appearance. I was… human tinted.. Pink, not my usual pallid white. I then noticed that I had a heart-beat and was respirating as though I were alive! Needless to say, I was extremely unsettled.
Then a new development occurred… I ate breakfast with the others.. Madame Kudou’s cooking is as delicious as the others say. She is a very celebrated cook in my opinion, however, that is not the most exciting thing that occurred. As I said before, I walked in the sun.
I saw the sun again, and the bluest robin’s egg sky I have seen in… centuries…? (Millenia?) I basked in the sun like a human… soaking in all the sunshine I could. We-- Gene, Schulig, Leon, Wufei, Puck, and myself-- had a picnic on the lawn near the bathhouse. It was the most singular event in my life since I met Charlotte and she agreed to be mine.
And, here I am again. Once again pacing these cold halls. Save now there is an echo of the days events… Juste and Puck’s voices singing tavern songs. The sweet tangy flavor of lemonade and the flavor of Madame Kudou’s fair. I miss it already, the Inne.
This is not a good thing, finding myself pining for a place I have no control over. I know not when it will come for me next. Though I do know one thing. It pertains not to the Inne however, and is much more dire in consequence. Though it bothers me not, the temperature in the ship has dropped by several degrees and the air is stale smelling. I believe it is only a matter of time before life support fails completely and I am forced to float about or use my own meager abilities to control my path through the confines of my tomb.
Another thought occurs-- what if power fails completely and I lose my orbit around this dark caricature of the planet Earth?
- Meier [+]
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Ah, a journal. This is something I have not done in so very long-- put my thoughts on paper, preserve them for later perusal. But I suddenly feel the need to record these fleeting musings; I suddenly feel compelled to take up pen and paper and write something down. This need has been pushing at me since the events of yesterday, in that ill-fated place, the White Oaks Inne.
Sleep has eluded me for quite some time now-- even the death-rest of my kind. I find myself weary, bone-tired, and hunger stirs and lifts its head every so often. However, at the deepest moments on the spiral toward despair, I will find myself-- almost without fail-- at the White Oaks Inne, among humans, and would-be friends.
Thankfully I inherited the strength in my line, otherwise I feel I may have taken untoward advantage of one of the many willing young men populating the place… fed the hunger within and sated-- no the word is too pretty, glutted-- myself among them. But I have not, I _will_ not. No one there-- not even the most gifted of the telepaths-- knows my true feelings, these inner demons. They have no idea of the dark despair that haunts my soul…
The others help. Being among those delicate humans-- though some would bristle at my description-- their presence is a balm for my heart. Being among them, knowing they do not judge based on a mere twist of fate soothes the demons raging within me and lends me a measure of peace. I am forever grateful to my Sire for teaching me how to hide… to keep inner emotions form others and to pretend that everything is fine, when it isn’t. At the Inne, I can hide… hide behind my masks and my pretenses.
My thoughts turn toward Juste as I wander in the barren and cold confines of this ship-- this tomb of lost souls and dreams. I worry for him, though it may prove to be folly as I know so little about Juste Belmont. I know he is from a proud and noble line of hunters… hunters of my kind. I know little else, save his current dilemma-- his change to what he once hunted.
His plight calls to me, as well as his sadness and the self-loathing he feels for what he has become. It is as though he is a mirror image of myself-- were that a mirrored surface reflected this image-- the Meier I hide from others’ prying eyes. Juste, however, is not completely lost for he still possesses his two loves, and they would do so much for him; perhaps even go to the extremes of anything for him.
I feel a small amount of jealousy towards Juste for he has what I have lost. Yet… I am happy that he will not lose them completely. When a patron of the Inne dies, he returns to the Inne to stay, loves will not be lost as I lost my Charlotte.
My thoughts now run full circle to the events of yesterday, and a small amount of guilt floods me for forcing Juste to drink from Gene and sate his rising hunger before it got too out of hand. I feel the use of compulsion justified this: Juste does not wish for a repetition of the events involving Laguna Liore and he, therefore, needed to feed from Gene while I was present to be sure he would not harm the man. I doubt Juste even knows I did more than tell him when to stop.
Juste is so full of fear of himself and what his new abilities can do. I hope to be of some assistance in aiding the hunter in finding his control. I feel the need to help him, I feel compelled to lend my aide. The desire to help him stalks me as I walk these silent halls, surrounded by the heartless vacuum of space.
Sleep eludes me, as does peace. Juste haunts me, his eyes so full of despair. I want to release his heart form the claws of that painful emotion and show him that vampires are not all evil and that he is not a monster. I do not want him to continue this way, or he will lose Shuldig and Gene…. A loss that will deal a heavy blow, and he will end as I have without my Charlotte: despairing and alone. And thus… I wait to return. I look forward to it as a child does the dawn.
Perhaps I am mad.
- Meier [+]
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